How To Have The Best Year Ever
1. New Year Resolutions | 2. Missing Ingredient | 3. Unconscious Sabotage
2. MISSING INGREDIENT
Hey, welcome back and once again, congrats for showing up, as today, we are going to delve much deeper into this subject. So, how would you like to learn, what the number one ingredient is to achieving goals and success? Most people would think it’s the intelligence… and this is really not the case.
Some of the smartest people out there never made their goals come to life and some of the dumbest people (if I can say it that way) are very successful, even holding very high ranks in their domains. So what is it then, what is that one thing… that will get your goals brought to reality faster than anything else?
Some people would think it’s luck or starting circumstances and I am here to debunk all those silly ideas. I think it’s hunger. Hunger for a difference, hunger for a change, hunger for succeeding in life. Hunger also means staying on your purpose.
You probably already know, that most successful people became successful in spite their external world, rather than because of it. Let’s go over some examples of people who started out in some really difficult times, but achieved greatness in spite of their obstacles – because they found a way to stay hungry.
Einstein, as an example, didn’t have the best childhood. In fact, many people thought he was just a dud. He never spoke for the first three years of his life, and throughout elementary school, many of his teachers thought he was lazy and wouldn’t make anything of himself. He always achieved good grades, but his head was in the clouds, conjuring up abstract questions that other people couldn’t understand.
But he didn’t focus on this negative commentary and instead, he just kept thinking. He eventually developed the theory of relativity, which many of us still can’t wrap our heads around. And today, pretty much everyone has heard of Einstein and his ground breaking theories and achievements that affected the whole world and our thinking about it.
Jim Carrey is another example, when he was 15, he had to drop out of school to support his family. His father was an unemployed musician and… as the family went from “lower middle class to poor,” they eventually had to start living in a van. But Jim didn’t let this stop him from achieving his dream of becoming a comedian. He went from having his dad drive him to comedy clubs in Toronto, to starring in mega-blockbusters and being known as one of the best comedic actors of an era, right?
And how about Benjamin Franklin? Did you know that his parents could only afford to keep him in school until his tenth birthday? That didn’t stop the great man from pursuing his education though. He taught himself through voracious reading, and eventually went on to invent the lightning rod and bifocals. Oh, and he became one of America’s Founding Fathers.
How about Oprah Winfrey? She is easily one of the most successful and richest people in the world today, but Oprah didn’t always have it so easy. She grew up in Milwaukee, and was repeatedly molested by her cousin, uncle and a family friend. She eventually ran away from home, and at age 14, she gave birth to a baby boy who shortly died after. But you see, her tragic past didn’t stop her from becoming the force she is today.
She excelled as an honors student in high school, and won an oratory contest which secured her a full scholarship to college. Now the entrepreneur and a TV personality, she has the admiration of millions and a net worth of $2.9 billion dollars, hey?
I can go on though… Thomas Edison, how many times do you think he failed in creating the light bulb that worked? It’s been said that he said: “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
And how about Franklin Roosevelt, who became paralyzed from the hip down at the age of 39? But even though he couldn’t walk, he went on to lead the country… as one of the most respected and memorable presidents in history.
Who else… how about Charlize Theron? When she was 15, she witnessed her mother shoot her alcoholic father in an act of self-defence. What does a child make of such an event? Well, instead of letting the trauma immobilize her ambition, she channeled her energy into making a name for herself.
And as you know, she eventually became one of the most respected and talented actresses, winning Academy Award and god knows how many other ones.
How about Steven Spielberg? Did you know that he was rejected from USC… twice! Yup, one of the most prolific filmmakers of all time, the man who brought us the “Shindler’s List”,”Jaws,” “E.T.”,”Jurassic Park”… couldn’t get into the film school of his choice. Maybe, just sometimes… education can be a little overrated, hey?
So what’s the point that I am making here? All these people… found a way of breaking through their circumstances, and didn’t fall into a pattern of behavior that got them stuck and disheartened. How about you and me though? How do we know… when we need help to break through our OWN circumstances? Well, that’s easy to find out.
You need a breakthrough in life, if you are feeling:
- Angry with people who’ve wronged you
- Frustrated by opportunities you haven’t received
- Limited by obstacles that prevent you from making change
- Discouraged by failures and setbacks
- Ashamed of yourself, for mistakes you’ve made
- Disappointed in yourself, for making the “wrong” choices
- Anxious about everything that isn’t working in your life
- If you are feeling conflicted about the choices that you must make and cannot make a decision
- Or perhaps carrying some heavy emotional burden about anything that has happened in the past
If you are often feeling any of these, you need a breakthrough in life, and the sooner you get one, the better. And here’s the thing, These feelings are not the problem! Feeling them simply means that you’re human. We can all feel these emotions at times, but the danger is when you are Controlled or Limited by these emotions.
If you recognize any of these in yourself… then it is time to handle it, and time for you to have your own breakthrough, right? Now…
What I often tell my clients is to “stop being a passive spectator of your own life.
You could be proactive, empowered, and committed to growth, and in charge of your life.” And most people resonate with that idea and wish to take me on, and make that change in their life. So they often ask me: “What is a breakthrough?”
Typically, it’s about our desire to change or to become unstuck. To become free of old patterns of thinking, feelings and the rut of old behaviour, that has become deeply embedded. The older we get, the more anxious we may become, that we may be unable to break free from the entrenchment of the familiar zone.
What we are all looking for is to get to a point beyond these limitations of the familiar and known, to a new terrain, that we’d like to experience instead. This desired place may be specific or general, but it holds the promise of something that we yearn for. Our ability to act at a new level of skill and to perceive life from a new level of consciousness, is what is commonly termed a breakthrough.
The discovery of electricity was an example of a breakthrough… can you imagine the world without electricity and how much wouldn’t be possible today without it?
Every single one of us, we ultimately have a choice: breakthrough and embrace our personal evolution, or remain comfortably numb in what we call our comfort zone. By the way it really is not so comfortable in our comfort zone.
People just coined that term of a comfort zone, to describe one’s inclination to remain in the safe, known, familiar situation of life. For most people… there is nothing comfortable about their comfort zone.
They could be in great distress or pain, and if that is what they got used to… that has become their comfort zone. In fact it’s my opinion that our comfort zone is the place where we feel least alive and most trapped in habitual thinking.
Again, we’ll get to your New Year resolutions soon, my aim is to share with you what are the components of achieving things in life, that I feel would be a difference that will make a huge difference in your life this year. That is unless you want to do the same as what you’ve done last year, hey?
Ideally, you remain teachable and coachable, knowing full well that you are right at the right place, and trusting me that I will take you there as soon as… you are ready for the next level.
So, how do we get stuck in the first place and how to restore your natural joy again? Well… there are 3 components to this: your Strategy, your Story and your State.
Again, most of my clients want to me to give them some cool, new strategies… and yet I know that strategy alone is not enough, and that’s because of their Story and their State that are playing a major role in all of this. These 3 components, are the three levels at which we can have a breakthrough! When we break through at any one of these levels, our life will improve, guaranteed!
And when we breakthrough at More than one level… we will experience a quantum shift in consciousness. Now that sounds way more exciting to me that some small shifts ?
Ok let’s quickly discuss these individually….
When it comes to strategies, I’ve always believed the best way to get a result, the fastest way… is to find someone who has already accomplished what you’re after, and simply model his or her behavior. Do what they do. If you know someone who used to be overweight but has kept himself fit and healthy for a decade, hey! Model that person!
You have a friend who used to be miserable in her relationship and now is passionate and in-love, and that’s been going on for ten years now? Model them.
You meet someone who started with nothing and has developed wealth and sustained it through time? Model that person. Do what they do.
The idea is to learn from their strategies and remember that people aren’t just lucky, while some others aren’t. These people are simply doing something different than you are, in that area of life.
I’ve pretty much spent my entire life seeking excellence. My mission’s been to find strategies that work. I have learnt from people who…
Have proven results for the long term. You know the saying that says: “Success leaves clues.’”
Now, while we know that it’s not all about the strategy, it’s important to find the right strategy for you, the one that works and does what it supposed to do for you. The right strategy, will save you one of the most valuable resources, which is time.
If you start with a proven plan, the right strategy, you can literally convert decades of struggle into days of achievement. I’ve experienced this on my own skin and continue to practice this understanding.
You can avoid the inevitable frustration that comes with learning something for the first time by trial and error. Instead, you can get results in days, instead of years, by learning from people who have achieved success already. Why reinvent the wheel, right?
And I’ll save us some time by not discussing the obvious… like what happens when we are using the wrong strategy, the one that simply doesn’t work, you know, even if it used to work but no longer does… or… what happens when we take advice from people, usually our friends or family members that… don’t even have what you want, but are readily dishing out advice about it.
Old friend of mine, a multimillionaire accidentally, told me that “Advice is cheap, a good mentorship costs a lot of money.” His policy has always been like mine, to pretty much stay away from taking advice from non-experts in that field, but rather invest in the actual experts, picking their brains, even if it costs a lot of money to do so. Makes sense?
I know that it does, but isn’t it remarkable how often do we discuss our relationship problems with our friends, who have the SAME problem that we have? This may make us feel understood… but we are looking to get the strategies from people who are successful in the very area we want to improve, right?
How often do people get relationship advice from friends who are in lousy relationships themselves, or fitness advice from a friend who struggles with his weight, too? How many people hear that same message reinforced… over and over again… that they can’t change their body? That’s because they’re surrounded by friends and family who aren’t fit…
And the same is true for financial advice. Looking up to someone who has not developed real wealth, is a recipe for disaster. It simply reinforces the belief that nothing will work.
And it’s not that nothing will work – it’s that THESE strategies won’t work. That’s all.
So, investigate your strategy… Are other people getting the results that you are seeking with the same strategy, and you are able to implement ALL the aspects of it? And if they are, but you don’t… then you have the right strategy, but something else is a miss.
And it’s a lesson I dearly paid for in life… that says: ”It’s not about doing certain things… it’s about doing things in a certain way.”
Which is to say that… while strategies are needed and are really important… they are least important out of the 3 things we’ve spoken about. I promise you this: Strategy alone is almost never enough.
What we also need to talk about is the other two components, which is your Story and your State. These two components seem to be running the show and I hope you’ll join me in the next video tomorrow, so that I can give you a real head start in life. You see, just by understanding the next two layers, can help you dramatically.
In the previous video, we talked about the importance of focus and how you should decide to focus on the positive, on the magic of you as a human being, on your potential, on the can do attitude, on empowerment and taking responsibility for your results, owning them and driving your focus into a direction of what you want in life, you know, staying in the flow and maintaining that positive vibe for as long as possible.
And this video today was all about the understanding that it’s pointless modelling and taking advice from people who are not experts at the thing that you wish to have or become. Find real models of excellence and take their advice, model them and do what’s working.
And with that said, I trust you will join us in the next video, for some even more important pieces of this puzzle of creating desired results in life. Thank you for your time and for caring to be an even better human being. One of my mentors in life always said that… “If you want more, you have to become more” and I want to help you become more.
I am showing up for you, will YOU show up for you? That’s it for today, I hope to see you tomorrow, in the next video.[/text_block]
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